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A good summary
In this blog I will talk about summarising. For those who know anything about mediation, you will know that the mediator is not there to make suggestions or force people to an agreement. What they are there for however is to help all parties involved move forward and find a way to negotiate and reach an agreement. One of the skills that can help is summarising.
So what good is there in a summary? A good summary can achieve several things:
· it is an opportunity to check your own understanding of what has been said
· it provides all parties in the meeting to hear again - in shorthand - what has been said by all parties. Remember that this meeting is probably the first time a party will have heard, calmly and from a place of safety, a different perspective
· it demonstrates to both clients that they have been listened to
· it holds up a mirror to them, allowing time to reflect on what they have said, on how they’re feeling. It allows them to perhaps change their perspective slightly, to say “That’s not what I said, that’s not what I meant” even if you have accurately summarised what they said.
A fair stooshie
In our most recent podcast we heard from Caitlin who talked about her experiences of mediation. One of the things that she talked about was the importance of open questions and summarising. Helping people who are in conflict is the lot of a mediator, however I believe everyone can learn some of the skills we teach on our course and use them in everyday life, not just in mediations. Let’s begin with open questions.
An open question is one that someone cannot just answer with a “yes” or a “no”. Open questions are a good way to find out directly from the parties involved, exactly what is going on for them. Open questions when used well, removes a lot of the value judgements or assumptions that can creep in. Let me give you an example.
Latest podcast now launched
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We are delighted to announce that our latest podcast has now gone live. In it, you can hear from Caitlin, who took part on our Mediation Skills training in 2024. She talks about her experience of mediation both in the US and Scotland and her reflections on what she has learnt from our training.
Helping people in conflict
One of the pleasures of training people in mediation is seeing people learn new skills in handling conflict more constructively and gain confidence in using them during the course.
Our course has no prior learning requirements and we welcome everyone from all walks of life. Previous learners have included lawyers, academics, professionals from commercial organisations, housing, community safety, environmental and leisure services, community bodies, marketing and training - the list is endless. What they have in common is a wish to handle conflicts in a better way, and to help others who are in conflict. Many have heard of mediation or know someone in the field of mediation, whilst others are completely new to this area.
Our training provides a safe space for people to work together and support each other as they learn the principles and process of mediation. The training is highly interactive with lots of opportunities for learners to discuss, explore and practise – they are often surprised how much they ‘do’ rather than listen. It’s also our job as trainers to make the course fun! Since learners come from a variety of backgrounds and jobs, they bring a wealth of experiences and knowledge which they are encouraged to share with others during the course.
Reflection and recognition
Last week saw me meet up with several mediators from around Scotland; I was there to present a workshop on the mediator accreditation scheme, which is run by the Scottish Community Mediation Network.
One of the questions that I was asked was what are the benefits of becoming accredited? I based my answer on what other mediators have told me. I talked about the feeling of being assessed, and having someone external to your organisation assess you and acknowledge that you as a mediator are working to a high standard. I also talked about how the process itself allows mediators to step back and reflect on their practise as a whole; the lessons that they have learned and the skills that they have developed.
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