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What makes a good neighbour?

What makes a good neighbour?

If you were to ask a group of people what makes a good neighbour, you might initially be surrounded by a lot of silence. For many of us, influenced by 24-hour news and social media, our focus is on the world being a place of risk, of negativity and of threat. What almost always goes unspoken, are the small but important acts of decency, respect and care that bind together communities and neighbours. So what makes a good neighbour?

There is no right or wrong answer to this question. On this morning’s walk before work I reflected on our two neighbours both quite different and yet both good neighbours.

On one side is a family with strongly held political beliefs diametrically opposed to ours. What they do provide is enjoyable conversation, genuine care, interest in our lives and a warmth that stretches way beyond politics. Keeping an eye out for each other’s houses on holiday, postcards or home baking, small holiday gifts are but the tips of that particular neighbour relationship. We have shared tea and cake, Christmas celebrations, though mindful of the other’s private space. And that I think is one of the key elements of a good neighbour. It is about caring, but not overstepping the line between curiosity and nosiness, between caring and interfering.

On the other side of us lives an elderly gentleman originally from the far east, with his son. At times we struggle with communication since he feels he has poor English, and we work through our phraseology, offering encouragement and understanding. What makes him a good neighbour are his cheery greetings and his pride in the area. He is always the first to clear the neighbouring alleyway of autumnal leaves or rubbish and at times we have together worked for a few minutes doing that task. We have gifted him plants and he has given us Chinese New Year gifts. We bring in each other’s bins and at times have mown each other’s front lawn, small simple tasks that says more than the act itself. Again, it is not about the things that are gifted, it is about the spirit in which they are given and the meaning behind them.

We are lucky to have such good neighbours, knowing that not everyone is so fortunate. However, what these two examples show is that it is often the small, quiet acts that can go unnoticed, underappreciated. Other neighbourhoods or communities may be more active, more obviously demonstrating what good neighbours can achieve.

So for you what makes a good neighbour? We’d love to hear from you.