News

And on the other hand

Earlier this week on social media I came across the fact that this has been named a million acts of hope week. At first glance I thought this was quite a positive and useful thing, to provide a focus on all the good things happening, new initiatives and work that is being done by people and organisations to prevent hate and divisions in society. However a little bit of me also reflected on how sad it was that such a week is needed.

Near where we live is an alleyway between two housing estates. It is our regular walk to the shops and as such we walk past the discarded cans, crisp packets and occasional wine bottle. Seeing the rubbish there can be dispiriting, or on a negative day lead me to think about the people you have dumped their litter without any care or thought. For a good number of years my partner has at times gone out to clear away some of the rubbish.

I also need to look after the adjoining plants growing up the fence and so go out three times a year to do that maintenance. When we are out there two things become obvious. Firstly the thanks and positive comments from passersby watching us do that work. But also sometimes a conversation is struck up and in amongst the grumble about people who litter, there is sometimes a comment of “well I pick up litter from here now and again - it seems to be something that I do just to keep on top of it all”. In other words, that little alleyway is being kept clean by the unsung actions of several people. They will never be nominated as heroes, they will never put it on their LinkedIn profile [!], they will never have a moment of celebration or reward. What however underlines their effort I think, is that they all care.

The news is full of negative stories, fuelling fear and frustration, however there are sometimes stories about positive change. We need to remember that much good work is quietly being done every day and every moment of every day. It is only the newsmongers and doom-mongers who shout with the loudest voice that drowns out all this good work. 

On our mediation course I talk about the perils of the news and how it taps into our primaeval sense of safety and fear. So to tap into a sense of positivity and hope is, on reflection, no bad thing. Mediators on our course are trained to help people look at a problem or conflict from more than one angle. In any one conflict there will be two sides. Two sides of an argument, two different perspectives, two different thoughts and sets of emotions. Part of the challenge and the joy of mediation is when a safe space can be created for the parties to express those perspectives, those thoughts and those hopes. It is only then, once they have had the opportunity to speak and be heard, that a positive way forward can be built.

You may think these two topics of littering and mediation have nothing in common. However as the first story of that alleyway tells us, there is more than one side to any tale. We only have to explore, be curious and ask questions to find that perhaps all is not what we first thought. And that while something might seem negative at first view, on the other hand there can be something positive and hopeful if we look carefully enough.